Nine Jewels of Nine
by PurpleBandit3000
Summary: A man. A plan. Will he be able to complete the perfect crime, or will he get caught redhanded? Remember, kiddos, crime never pays! A psycho Trent one shot.


Total Drama © Fresh TV Inc. & Teletoon

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It's 09/27/2016, and that's a special day. Let me tell you why:

0 plus 9 equals **9**

2 plus 7 equals **9**

2 plus 0 plus 1 plus 6 equals **9**

Since this is the last day of the year where a scenario like this can happen (the next one is in 09/09/2025), I just had to write a fic to mark the special occassion!

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 **The Nine Jewels of Nine, Starring Psycho Trent!**

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The sun was shining brightly as Trent was awoken from his slumber. He turned off his nine alarm clocks, which were all ringing at exactly 9:09 AM.

The boy then jumped out of one of his nine beds and went into one of his nine bathrooms to brush his teeth. He brushed for 99 seconds while humming a tune to a Nine Inch Nails song.

Trent liked 'Nine Inch Nails', not only because they had 'nine' in the title, but also because the founder shared the same name as he did.

Trent had just one worry, well, _nine_ worries, but the biggest worry was that he didn't have enough money to buy nine houses like he wanted. He had just gotten started on paying the mortgage for a third house, and at this rate, Trent knew that there was no way he could buy nine houses within his deadline of nine years.

He had to get rich quick, and the only way to do that was by illegal means. Trent was prepared to do whatever it took to get nine houses. Once he got nine houses, Trent knew that all his problems would disappear.

There was no way he was going to beg anyone for money, and he only had nine dollars in the bank so it would be useless to look there. While reading one of his nine newspapers, he saw an advertisement that nine very valuable jewels would be on display at the Ontario Art Museum. This was his chance!

Trent was going to steal the nine jewels and sell them. The money would be more than enough to buy nine houses. Trent set off to the Art Museum to get a look at the jewels. He was there within nine minutes and spent more than nine hours getting a look at the security measures.

There were more than nine ways Trent could die while attempting a theft, but the risk was worth the reward. Trent jotted down nine pages of notes regarding the jewels before driving back to his home. He would strike the next night!

At exactly 9 PM on the next day, Trent prayed to the Nine God for success on his mission. He kissed each of his nine shrines nine times before leaving.

Trent exited his house wearing a black spandex suit that he had ordered online for $9.99 more than nine weeks ago.

He drove up to the museum and picked the lock. Trent had spent nine hours researching and contemplating the best way to steal the jewels, and he had the best tools at his disposal.

He walked up to the Nine Jewels Exhibit, but it was empty.

 _'Of course!'_ Trent thought to himself. _'They must have been taken to a safer place.'_

Trent had a map of the entire museum handy, and it took him less than 99 minutes of wandering to find out the new location of the jewels. The lasers, trap door, and sharks were no big deal, and Trent had his hands on the jewels. He was about to take off when someone stopped him.

"Hey! Hold it right there, boy!" Someone yelled.

The voice seemed rather familiar to Trent. He turned around and saw a big African-Canadian man standing there wearing a blue uniform like that of a security guard.

 _'Holy shit! It's Chef Hatchet!'_ Trent thought.

Indeed it was, and the Chef, now a security guard, was none too happy. He took out a big club and was about to lay a beatdown on this thief who had dared to steal the Nine Jewels.

Trent knew he didn't stand a chance against the former cook and prayed once again to the Nine God to rescue him from his predicament.

"The power of Nine compels you!" Trent exclaimed.

Before Chef Hatchet could recognize the boy's voice, a flurry of metallic 'nines' appeared out of nowhere and slammed into the guard, knocking him to the ground.

Not wasting his opportunity, Trent ran off with the Nine Jewels in his hands, entered the car and drove away, safe and sound.

He sold the jewels on the black market later to some third-world country, making upwards of a billion dollars.

He bought nine houses as he desired and also contributed some good to society from his bad deed.

He most generously donated a cent to charity so that he now had nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents.

Life was good for Trent from then onwards.

Nine months, nine weeks, and nine days later, Trent was cruising down the highway at 99 miles per hour on one of his nine luxury cars. To the right of him was a magnificent statue of a giant nine the likes of which he had never seen before. Trent was so enamored by it that he got a nine-inch boner and didn't notice the giant truck come and slam into him.

At 9:09 PM, Trent succumbed to his injuries at the hospital, which demanded a bill of more than ninety-nine thousand dollars regardless.

Well, you know what they say: You live by the nine, you die by the nine!

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Well, there you go. That's my attempt at a psycho-Trent one shot. Not my best work, but I hope it was fun to read.

P.S. This story is exactly 999 words! :D


End file.
